This is making my Halloween.
This is making my Halloween.
Posted in Parties, Travel, YouTube, tagged consignment sale, Crate and Barrel, crate and barrel outlet, dance video, Goodwill, Invitations, maine, nh, on the road, Travel, wedding, You Tube, YouTube on March 15, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
If you’re getting married, you need to do a few things. For one thing, don’t listen to anyone but me and Emily Post. So, you need to know about Goodwill’s Wedding Gala. Most of the dresses are brand new and donated from local shops. I wish I would have done it. I loved my dress but it’s almost embarrassing how much it cost. You need to get to the Rivergate store tonight. Yes, it’s Saturday morning but these folks are playing around. Here’s some advice from Goodwill’s blog.
Next, you’ll need me to review your invitations. It’s a not so secret passion of mine. For real. Send them. I’m on a mission to rid people of poorly written and inappropriate invitations. I judge them. I always have. I’m not proud of it. I almost always find something. I’ve thought of making a list of rules, but most rules can be found in any and all editions of Emily Post’s Etiquette. Your grandmother will thank me.
This week I was back in New Hampshire and Maine. I returned the rug and it pained me a little. I didn’t have a place for it, but that’s never stopped me from wanting. If you’re ever near Portsmouth, New Hampshire – go.
A bunch of tasty food and cute shops. What else do you want?
I have an idea of what The Mister does when I’m on the road.
Last night, while lying in bed, I heard The Mister mumble something along the lines of “This should be good.” Then, he proceeded to play a video that made me laugh uncontrollably. I jumped out of bed and turned on my laptop after I made him play it repeatedly. I’m dedicated to y’all and wanted to make sure you knew of something this good. Also, I
may totally want to say that I was on the front end of this becoming popular on the internets. (Thanks to Joe Dubin for sharing it.)
As my friend Joe (not Joe Dubin) says, “loving Taylor is hard.”
There’s a Justin Bieber one too. Watch it here.
Side note: High fives all around to my high school girlfriends that got real excited when they read the title to this post.
Justin Timberlake is back! I’m pretty jazzed about this. I busted out his last album “Future Sex/Love Sounds” and have played it in heavy car karaoke rotation. I should confess that the CD was already in my car’s console because I have listened to it frequently since it’s debut in 2006.
My girl JBK(H) and I at the Justin Timberlake concert circa 2007
You need to listen to “Suit and Tie.” So, I’m providing it below. It’s in black and white. He collaborated with Tom Ford. There are cuff links and gorgeous men’s wear. He’s rocking his wedding band. He brought the sexy back.
Turn that shiz up real loud in your car and open your sunroof like it’s a beautiful spring day during your junior year of college.
I was not in college in 2007, but I remember my junior year fondly.
I had two ducks when I was little. They lived on my grandparent’s farm and I loved watching them and waddling around like I was one. Then, they had their ducklings and I’d walk around with them thinking it was great game of “Follow the Leader.” I even became protective, like I cried and cried when they learned to fly. I was terrified for them. I remember my grandfather reassuring me that they would not die if they landed on or somehow touched the telephone wire. So, I was very much invested in this mother duck and ducklings crossing the interstate. I absolutely yelled a few times and gasped.
The Mister and I have said we need to make a video of us doing commentary. If only we had some video editing software.
I get crap pretty often for not being on Facebook much. So, I decided to make a very strong effort the past few weeks to get on Facebook more and it’s not gone unnoticed. I’ve had multiple people praise me for it. Still, nobody told me. Then, of course, I have the very blog that you’re reading and nobody told me here either. So, I blame all y’all. I had to find out about a YouTube video from my father.
Yesterday morning I received the following text message: “Mom just heard ‘Smell Yo Dick (official video)’ on YouTube. You can imagine her facial expression.” If your immediate reaction to this is “Poor Momma” or something along the lines of a crinkled nose then you should not watch the video below. However, if you’re reaction was “I must find out what this is right now” then you’re like me and I’ve provided it for you.
“Smell Yo Dick” by Riskay
(I feel this warning should be understood by the title and group’s name, but don’t listen to this with the volume all the way up at work. HR won’t like it.)
You’re welcome for this ridiculousness.
My friend JB shared, via Facebook, some voicemails he received Saturday on his Google Voice number. The man (I believe his name is Andrew from voicemail number 3) is looking for Tonya. There are six voicemails for you to listen to. Read my recaps. He’s a fast talker.
Voicemail 1: He was selling The Contributer by McDonalds and tried to use $10 of his earnings to put more minutes on his phone. However, the store was closed. He has Tonya’s liquor. He doesn’t drink anymore but he doesn’t judge her for drinking. He has a busy work schedule. He’s cutting trees. He is fearful that Tonya is entertaining another gentleman caller. However, this man is not worth her time if he doesn’t care for her children. He’ll do what he has to do for Tonya. He’ll give her his food stamps. He knows Tonya is tired and he understands. He’s tired too. His body “is tired as hell” and his legs are “swelling up and shit.” Yet, he still wants to see her. He loves her and he cares about her too.
Voicemail 2: Does Tonya still want the liquor he purchased her? Is she asleep? More importantly, is the possible gentleman caller at her house? How are the kids? Does she need his food stamps? Is his competition eating her food? He is waiting to hear from her. He’s at Jack in the Box. A girl that works there lets him charge his phone. He’s waiting for Tonya.
Voicemail 3: Is she mad? He didn’t get Jerome locked up. He’s tired of Tonya always throwing that shit in his face. She never asks how he is doing. However, he ain’t mad at her. If she needs his food stamps, just let him know. She’s not to forget the busy work schedule he keeps with the white man, cutting down trees. He loves her and he loves her kids.
Voicemail 4: He’s running out of minutes. He’s trying to get to her. He has her liquor. Does she need smokes and Coke? Why won’t she answer? He’s just trying to take care of her.
Voicemail 5: Does she want him or not? He just took a shower and is no longer “stanky as hell.” Tonya needs to be aware that as bad as he wants to talk to her, if she keeps refusing to answer his calls, he is going to burn through all his minutes. He has $11.00. Therefore, she needs to pick up the phone. Then, he struggles with hanging up.
Voicemail 6: He’s heading to General Hospital. She needs to call him. He loves her.
I hope JB receives more voicemails. I need to know what happens.