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What I did this weekend

Posted in Family/Friends, Music, Our House, tagged , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

Friday, The Mister and I went to The Black Keys concert with one of our friends. We had General Admission tickets and it was awesome.

20130505-211618.jpg

I was quite hungover the next day. Here’s some evidence of my good time.

Black Keys concert

I adore my friend and have known him since my Freshman year of college. We reconnected a few years ago after finding out we were both in Nashville. (Thanks to Mr. Zuckerberg.) I love him and would never show what’s under that circle. I wasn’t the only one that had drank too much.  These were just the pre-show drinks at Bridgestone between the three of us.

Black Keys pre show drinks

We had been drinking before this and we didn’t stop either.

We went to the headless friend’s birthday party Saturday night. I drank only Sprite. Beyond going out we played it fairly lazy. Sunday, we walked around the yard and worked on a plan for planting some boxwoods we purchased two weeks ago and the back yard.

I’ve kept the back yard from you because it’s embarrassing. We have a potentially awesome area of the yard that looks awful. Really awful. The previous owners put in a retaining wall poorly. It appears to a great example of a DIY gone wrong. The brick walls have mostly fallen down. We started cleaning it up and quickly became overwhelmed at the scope of the project. We think we finally know what to do and how to fix it. We loved this patio space when we bought the house. We had big plans for a fire pit, big chairs and parties. We want to make it right. This is what it looks like now.

back yard pit

The Mister is working on the space this week. It will not be anywhere near done but we are setting a lofty goal of having the major work done by July. There are some other major projects that are being done at the same time. It’s going to be hectic summer. However, it’s gonna be great and I can’t wait to share it with you.

Be good. Be safe. Be lovely.

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Under Cover

Posted in Art, tagged , , , on March 19, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

This week I made a new cover photo for Facebook. I took this quote and this beautiful piece of art.

fly by by michelle armas

 ”Fly By” by Michelle Armas

Then, I ended up with this.

life moto

You should be able to click on it and save it as the full size image which is 851 pixels by 315 pixels.

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I blame all y’all

Posted in Music, YouTube, tagged , , , , , on July 6, 2012 | 2 Comments »

I get crap pretty often for not being on Facebook much. So, I decided to make a very strong effort the past few weeks to get on Facebook more and it’s not gone unnoticed. I’ve had multiple people praise me for it. Still, nobody told me. Then, of course, I have the very blog that you’re reading and nobody told me here either. So, I blame all y’all. I had to find out about a YouTube video from my father.

Yesterday morning I received the following text message: “Mom just heard ‘Smell Yo Dick (official video)’ on YouTube. You can imagine her facial expression.” If your immediate reaction to this is “Poor Momma” or something along the lines of a crinkled nose then you should not watch the video below. However, if you’re reaction was “I must find out what this is right now” then you’re like me and I’ve provided it for you.

“Smell Yo Dick” by Riskay
(I feel this warning should be understood by the title and group’s name, but don’t listen to this with the volume all the way up at work. HR won’t like it.)

 You’re welcome for this ridiculousness.

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A love story: Tonya and Andrew

Posted in Funny, YouTube, tagged , , , , , on September 5, 2011 | 7 Comments »

My friend JB shared, via Facebook, some voicemails he received Saturday on his Google Voice number. The man (I believe his name is Andrew from voicemail number 3) is looking for Tonya. There are six voicemails for you to listen to. Read my recaps. He’s a fast talker.

Voicemail 1: He was selling The Contributer by McDonalds and tried to use $10 of his earnings to put more minutes on his phone. However, the store was closed. He has Tonya’s liquor. He doesn’t drink anymore but he doesn’t judge her for drinking. He has a busy work schedule. He’s cutting trees. He is fearful that Tonya is entertaining another gentleman caller. However, this man is not worth her time if he doesn’t care for her children. He’ll do what he has to do for Tonya. He’ll give her his food stamps. He knows Tonya is tired and he understands. He’s tired too. His body “is tired as hell” and his legs are “swelling up and shit.” Yet, he still wants to see her. He loves her and he cares about her too.

Voicemail 2: Does Tonya still want the liquor he purchased her? Is she asleep? More importantly, is the possible gentleman caller at her house? How are the kids? Does she need his food stamps? Is his competition eating her food? He is waiting to hear from her. He’s at Jack in the Box. A girl that works there lets him charge his phone. He’s waiting for Tonya.

Voicemail 3: Is she mad? He didn’t get Jerome locked up. He’s tired of Tonya always throwing that shit in his face. She never asks how he is doing. However, he ain’t mad at her. If she needs his food stamps, just let him know. She’s not to forget the busy work schedule he keeps with the white man, cutting down trees. He loves her and he loves her kids.

Voicemail 4: He’s running out of minutes. He’s trying to get to her. He has her liquor. Does she need smokes and Coke? Why won’t she answer? He’s just trying to take care of her.

Voicemail 5: Does she want him or not? He just took a shower and is no longer “stanky as hell.”  Tonya needs to be aware that as bad as he wants to talk to her, if she keeps refusing to answer his calls, he is going to burn through all his minutes. He has $11.00. Therefore, she needs to pick up the phone. Then, he struggles with hanging up.

Voicemail 6: He’s heading to General Hospital. She needs to call him. He loves her.

I hope JB receives more voicemails. I need to know what happens.

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American Idol: Boston Recap

Posted in Television, tagged , , , , on January 12, 2010 | Leave a Comment »

Here are my Facebook status updates throughout the show.  I did not post responses or comments to these. So, feel free to make comments here. Enjoy these and I will continue it, at least during these audition episodes. I found them amusing and was glad to see many others agreed.

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American Idol Contestant 52461 (our first person) please wear a shirt that reaches your jeans. If you are going to keep your current look, go up a size in pants. Also, look into some dark washes.

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American Idol Contestant 52322: I love “hollering” too especially when nobody responds. I’m going to do it right now in my hotel room. HOLLER! I hope nobody calls downstairs in fear for my life.

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American Idol Contestant 60376: I should state up front I’m a fan of big boys AND I love pizza. Want to be friends?

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American Idol Contestant Derek (sorry I missed the number): You are not amazing and I don’t want to be touched, nor does America. Also, I hate that your acne is such an issue. I am going to blog about acne next week. Please tune in.

The acne post has been delayed. Next week will be my first question and answer.

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American Idol Contestant 56287: Who told you to bring a komono? Nothing can hide all of that vocalizing. Nothing, even your poorly done pink highlights.

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American Idol Contestant First Boy from the snapshots just shown : Just because you think you sing like Jack Johnson does not mean you need to wear a black knitted skull cap.

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American Idol Contestant 64308: I love your glasses and that you just told the judges that it was “obvious” why you are there. You are a smart ass, but I appreciate it. It was a good break for me. Kara said he needed a spanking. He’s a grown man. Is she offering? What is that? I think she secretly loves his arrogance. She likes her buttons pushed.

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American Idol Contestant 60059: You have good skin. That is all. I’m off my game, damn Lane Kiffin

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American Idol Contestant 54248: Did you sprang your wrist fighting someone at Goodwill for that shirt?

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Welcome back Posh. I’m so glad you decided to remove your underwear from your head. They were not the best headband.

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American Idol Contestant 52139: You put the the number on your FUPA area and I could not read it completely. However, I applaud you doing this. I would never do this. That is not my best area.

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American Idol Contestant 58995: I would get sick if I worked on Godzilla. How do people get tour host jobs? Your number was hard to read because you didn’t want to cover the lovely graphic t-shirt you were wearing. Heaven forbid I miss that spade on your shirt.

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American Idol Contestant 56037: I like you. I walked back into my room towards the end of it. Best part is that your family has fans where your hair matches the popsicle stick.

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American Idol Contestant 54995: I like that you are polite. I’d say “please” at the end too. You should write affirmations on your mirror. Nobody will be your a, because you said it wrong. Dog. Age 28 is it huh? Next year I may try, just to have the experience.

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American Idol Contestant 54588: I like Michael Bublae too and you have very nice teeth. I’m not saying that Michael Bublae does not have nice teeth. I cannot say I’ve ever noticed his, I’m always thinking how lovely it’d be if The Mister sang like him. Jeremy’s not a horrid singer, but he’s not Michael Bublae.

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American Idol Contestant 56534: You are heavily groomed. I’m not saying it is good grooming. You do look like LaToya Jackson, but she has better brows and she’d have a better beard.

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American Idol Contestant 61581: Your father is handsome. I appreciate him dressing in a suit. However, I don’t know how much work you can put into your “star power.” I believe you to be a hard worker, but maybe more studious than star.

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American Idol Contestant 60358: I thought you were wearing a blue jean strapless dress. Then, I saw what you had on in full view. Those earrings, the ruffles and the flats. You are a mess. Oh yeah, this is a singing competition. I liked it.

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